Tana Mongeau opens up about battle with depression and addiction

Tana Mongeau is getting candid about the struggles she has been dealing with after deciding to focus on her mental health nearly three months ago.

Earlier this week, the YouTube star revealed in a video titled, “letting you in on the truth about MTV, depression + a life update,” that she suffered abuse from a very young age.

“My childhood was just the worst thing on Earth,” she shared, alleging she was “physically, mentally, and emotionally” abused. “I’m very lucky to have gotten out of that.”

Mongeau, 21, said just months prior to her starting her YouTube channel in 2015, her best friend died and she was “bottling in the depression” and “numbing things out” with drugs just as her career was taking off.

“I was at the point of taking Xanax, where it’s not where I was trying to overdose…I was definitely just taking enough to where I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but I definitely didn’t care if I died,” she said. “I think that’s the scariest road that you could possibly take.”

Mongeau said she hit “rock bottom” in 2019. She was filming her MTV reality series, “No Filter,” and had a public split with Jake Paul.

“2019 might have been one of the most successful textbook years of my life, but when it comes to my mental state it was absolutely hands down, in my 21 years of life, the worst year of that,” she said. “From January to December of 2019, I crumbled, to be real, and I think by the end of 2019 I had beaten myself up in every possible way to the point where I wasn’t even a person. I was fully at rock bottom. I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself. I did not want to live.”

However, the reality star said she has worked on herself and is “now at the happiest place I’ve ever been in my entire life.” In a twist of television timing, however,  she is having to relive her bad moments on a show that she claims had heavy “editing.

“I feel like I’m on the road to becoming the best me I’ve ever become,” she said. “I’m finally ready to be back to YouTube, making funny videos, but obviously the [MTV] show airing of me at the worst time of my life…is a really weird conflict.”

She added, “I just feel bad that the show makes anyone look a way that they’re not, but here we are.”

The YouTuber concluded that she would like to use her platform for more philanthropic efforts like helping families in need amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Page Six has reached out to MTV for comment.

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