DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter was 18 months old when I met the man she believes to be her father.
Her biological father wanted nothing to do with us but my partner was a loving dad to her and my older children from the start. I had two boys who were then nine and seven.
My partner moved in with us and we have gone on to have another boy and girl.
My older boys know their own dad but my older daughter believes my partner is her father. She is six now.
Her older brothers probably know the truth though we’ve never talked about it.
I am 37 and I realise she needs to know the truth soon, but how do we tell her without upsetting her? She is sensitive but can be spiteful to her younger siblings.
DEIDRE SAYS: That spite may stem from her sensing a difference in your partner’s relation-ship with them or that there is a family secret.
Keep it simple. Have you told her the facts of life? You can say a different man planted the seed in your tummy but the daddy who has raised her loves her as his own.
Be open to her asking questions and you can find guidance from Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 808 2222).
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