I've fallen for another woman – but she's my married manager and twice my age

DEAR DEIDRE:  I HAVE fallen for my line manager, another woman twice my age.

She’s a lesbian, like me, but I already have a partner and the person I fancy has a wife and kids. Can this ever work?

I am 22 and have been with my girlfriend for two years.

We argue a lot, particularly about her immaturity. She’s 20.

The woman I’m drawn to at work is 41.

We both got drunk and kissed on a work night out, celebrating the reopening of our office.

No one knows about that but friends at work tease me that she fancies me.

I don’t want to mess up her marriage but I really like her and feel I’m getting mixed signals from her.

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DEIDRE SAYS: There are pressures and emotions tangled up together. Try to unpack them carefully.

First, sort out your relationship one way or the other. Is it hopeless or do you just need to talk more?

The woman at work may feel attracted to you but that does not mean she is ready to write off her marriage.

Even if you break with your girlfriend, I doubt you are ready for complications a relationship with your older work colleague would bring.

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