James Patterson on his new mystery, ‘The Summer House’

Best-selling author James Patterson has written 156 books that have sold more than 325 million copies. Whenever, wherever anybody might be there’s always some James Patterson thing to read. Adam and Eve — after knocking off that apple — probably read James Patterson.

“My first book attempt was when I was 25. More publishers then. I was turned down by 31 of them. Then came an ad for new writers. So I stuck this same manuscript in a cardboard box, tied it with a rubber band and sent it.

“Those days, sitting in my kitchen, the counter was higher than my back. My typewriter sat higher than my jaw. And suddenly, I heard back. I thought it’s just another turn-down. But the Boston company Little, Brown accepted it. I went to see them. It was great. A fire in their fireplace. Books around by Herman Wouk, Norman Mailer, ‘Catcher in the Rye.’ I thought, ‘Wow — look where I am.’”

Why do people love to read his mysteries?

“Because they’re like puzzles. There’s some resolution. Like the JFK ending or what happened to Epstein — we still don’t know. Older people sometimes don’t even feel anything anymore, but they can feel pleased reading a mystery book because there’s an ending.

“Now I’m surrounded by a pile of current projects. Stuff stuck under the bookshelves. Shelves full. For one CBS project, I began pulling out drawers-full. They said, ‘James, you’re crazy.’

“Besides writing, mine’s a quiet life. Watch old movies. ‘The Thin Man’ with Myrna Loy or ‘Klute’ with Jane Fonda and Donald Sutherland. Or TV’s ‘Balthazar’ from Paris. I enjoy my wife, Sue. Married 23 years, we play golf together, still go to bed holding hands. Our son, 22, is in college. We live in Florida and usually, in May, come to our Westchester house because we’re nervous about hurricanes, but for now we’re still in Florida.”

His new did-they-or-didn’t-they book “The Summer House” is about a murder in Georgia, plus seven civilians killed, plus the criminal division of the Army, plus the Middle East. It’s called a summer read. What’s “a summer read” mean??

“Nothing. Put ‘summer’ on it, and they just think they have to read it in the summer. People are crazy.”

Expressing herself

When “Captain Marvel’s” beautiful Brie Larson isn’t out getting supplies with boyfriend Elijah Allan-Blitz, she’s home alone, and she’s just launched a YouTube social-activism channel. The Oscar winner was home-schooled as a kid, and she’s now home-schooling us. “To have the most popular channel on Earth, I’m reaching to steal from really smart actors, activists, great all-time creators.”

She should include that creative brunette who dumped her handsome successful husband to gallop after Amazon’s bozo Bezos. With a brain that’s under her skirt, this is a real deep thinker. Also heavy-duty activist.

Cosmic whiff

Comes now a perfume that smells like the cosmos. NASA chemist Steve Pearce, asked to develop a scent for astronaut-training exercises, took four years. Space pilot Tony Antonelli describes the great blue yonder yonder as “strong, unique, like nothing he’s smelled on Earth.” This $29 new universe fragrance for gents is called Eau de Space.

Product manager Matt Richmond’s down-to-earth explanation: “The scent is a mix of gunpowder, seared steak, raspberries and rum.” (Right, so whoever’s floating around Mars, 72 million miles from a private john, do not think Old Spice.)

After quarantining and raiding his mom’s fridge for four months, this lady’s son just went on the Drinking Man’s Diet. Only wine and vegetables. It’s working. In 10 days, he lost 8 pounds and his driver’s license.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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