DEAR DEIDRE: MY brother and sister have always called me “Nuggets” because they say I’m the golden boy.
I’m 52, my sister is 53 and my brother 57.
I’ve always refuted it but now our mother has died and left half of everything to me.
According to her will, the other half is to be split between my older brother and sister.
I am really uncomfortable with this arrangement and want to reorganise it so that her estate is divided into equal thirds, but my wife is insisting that I leave things as they are.
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She says that we need the money more than my brother and sister as she wants a new extension.
But I’m really unhappy and don’t feel it’s the right thing to do.
How can I have a good relationship with my brother and sister like this?
DEIDRE SAYS: Would the difference between half and a third be that big when you consider inheritance tax is 40 per cent?
It is worth working out what that difference is and then talk to your wife about the value of that figure, versus the value of your relationship with your brother and sister.
Ultimately this is your family and your family’s money, and hopefully she will come to respect that.
Explain how the situation makes you feel. I’m sending you my support pack Standing Up For Yourself, which will help you set out your reasons without falling into the trap of arguing.
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