I’m a relationship expert and here are 10 tell-tale signs your partner may be cheating on you with a work colleague
- Here are the 10 tell-tale signs that your partner likes their coworker
- They include staying at work later, attending more events and getting defensive
You hear his keys in the front door. He seems his usual vacant self as he offers a half-hearted peck on the cheek, then collapses on the sofa.
And there it is again. That scent. That familiar scent, lingering in his wake. How many more times before you say something?
There are a variety of things that might lead a partner to worry about their other-half – and now a relationship expert has detailed 10 signs worth confronting them with.
Tell-tale signs like staying late in office , going to more work events, becoming inseparable from their phone or being less intimate are all among them.
Toby Ingham, a UKCP registered psychotherapist and author of Retroactive Jealousy, Making Sense of It, says that as hard as it may be, it is ‘better not to be in a relationship that you can’t trust and are being kept awake at night worrying about.’
Here are the 10 signs your partner has a crush on their co-worker and what you should do to find out exactly what is going on
Here are the 10 signs your partner may be cheating on your with a colleague at their work
1. You’re no longer invited to work socials
Connecting with colleagues outside of working hours can be a great way to build relationships and unwind away from the office, however if your partner is prioritising work socials over quality time with you then it might be a sign that there’s more to it, Mr Ingham says.
This may be ‘especially if you’re never invited to go along with them. If you used to be invited to go along to your partner’s work socials but now that’s being discouraged then there could be a reason for it.’
2. They are late home from work
The relationship expert says that: ‘If your partner starts being late home from work, it might be that they’re busier than usual but it also may be a sign that they may want to spend more time there. You can always ask them what they’re working on and why it’s keeping them so busy.
‘Keep your eyes open for what other signs you might spot.’
3. A change in appearance
If your partner has always been relaxed about what they wear to work but that appears to have suddenly changed then pay close attention to the reasons behind it.
The expert adds that there is ‘nothing wrong with wanting to look good.
‘But if your partner seems to be putting more effort into their appearance at work, especially when that doesn’t happen when they are with you, they might be trying to impress someone else.’
4. Protective over technology
If your partner mentions that someone at work likes the same things too, then it might be that they’re trying to impress them by having common interests
If you detect that your partner is being more careful about your access to their phone, email or computer that may stand out to you.
Wanting privacy is one thing but if your partner has suddenly password-protected devices or is nervous if you’re using one of their devices then that might be cause for concern as they might be worried about what you may see.
Deleting their computer history or turning off the ‘share my location’ feature can also be signs that they have something to hide.
5. Sudden enthusiasm or interest for work
The expert said that if your partner ‘was fed up with being at the office all the time but now that’s changed then a co-worker may be the reason behind it.’
He continued to say that you need to ask them why they have had a sudden change of plan, adding that you should not be ‘afraid to ask questions as their answers might reveal what’s behind this change of attitude.’
6. They mention someone a lot or keep quiet about them
‘A name repeatedly dropped into conversation, or a name being left out, you may start to notice that your partner is mentioning someone repeatedly,’ Mr Ingham says.
Or, the alternative may be if they do not mention someone they used to appear relaxed about, adding that ‘both behaviours can be a sign that they may have feelings for that person.’
7. They get defensive
If your partner was fed up with being at the office all the time but now that’s changed then a co-worker may be the reason behind it
If your partner starts getting defensive around work and becomes touchy and reactive when you ask what used to be ordinary questions about their workplace then that might be a sign that something’s off.
If this behaviour is exhibited every time when you ask them about work then they may be trying to hide something.
8. They interact outside of working hours
It’s not uncommon for friendships to develop among colleagues but if your partner spends a lot of time talking to one of their colleagues outside their working hours then there might be something more happening between them, the expert says.
He continued: ‘If that’s the case, suggest that you all go out for a drink since they’re friends and take notice of your partner’s reaction.’
9. Change in working patterns
‘Has your partner started scheduling after work meetings or going on business trips when that never used to be the case?,’ Mr Ingham asked.
If so, unexplained and sudden changes in your partner’s working schedule may just be a justification to spend more time with someone at work.
10. A change in interests
Mr Ingham gave the example of your partner reading spy thrillers but now they are reading an entirely different genre. Or, they have taken up a hobby that they once said they had no interest in.
Whatever it may be, the expert says that ‘if they happen to mention that someone at work likes the same things too then it might be that they’re trying to impress them by having common interests.’
So, what can you do about it?
Toby Ingham is a UKCP registered psychotherapist and the author of Retroactive Jealousy, Making Sense of It
Mr Ingham continued to say that a lot of office relationships are actually more to do with the ‘proximity and time spent together than anything else.’
He continued to say that he would take this as a sign that ‘you need to pay more attention to your relationship’ and to find ways to bring their interest back to home life.
And if you do find out that your partner likes their colleague, it is never a good idea to snoop though their phone or try and trick them out by mentioning their name more around them.
The relationship expert advises that couples have an open and frank conversation to find out more about what’s going on.
He continued to say: ‘If your relationship is something that is good and can be fixed, then asking questions, speaking about what’s on your mind shouldn’t create more problems. If it does, then this might be a sign that your relationship has run its course.’
There may be two outcomes following this; one that this settles down and ‘that their work relationship becomes more professional and less personal.’
Mr Ingham added: ‘If that happens then you might expect things to improve in your relationship.’
But if you feel like this situation is a deal-breaker, or things do not get better after some time, then Mr Ingham says that, ‘it might be that your relationship isn’t right for you.
‘You may have to come to terms with the relationship ending. Hard as that might be, it will still be better not to be in a relationship that you can’t trust and are being kept awake at night worrying about.’
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